My Tiny Valentine: 10 Ways Your Toddler Shows Love (Between the Chaos and Crumbs)

February is all hearts and flowers, but if you live with a toddler, love probably looks more like a half-eaten granola bar shoved into your hand, a surprise headbutt delivered with maximum enthusiasm, and someone yelling “MINE!” while simultaneously squeezing you in the world’s stickiest hug. 

Toddler holding handmade Valentines Card for parent

Welcome to toddler love where affection is unpredictable, impulsive, and absolutely beautiful in all its chaotic glory. It isn’t quiet or polished. It’s enthusiastic. It’s sticky. It’s occasionally shouted from the bathroom doorway while you’re just trying to pee alone for thirty seconds.

Yes, toddlerhood comes with meltdowns, big feelings, and passionate debates over which color cup is deeply offensive today. But it also comes with joy, spontaneous giggles, and some of the most sincere, unfiltered affection you’ll ever experience in your entire life. These little humans love with their whole bodies, their whole hearts, and zero chill whatsoever. And honestly? That’s one of the most wonderful things about them.

So this Valentine’s season, let’s celebrate the good stuff. The funny, tender, heart-bursting ways your toddler shows love, even on the days when they cry because their banana broke, their sock feels “weird,” or you committed the unforgivable crime of cutting their sandwich wrong. 

1)The Completely Random “I Love You” 

You’re doing something deeply mundane. Loading the dishwasher. Refilling the dog bowl. Staring into the fridge wondering what counts as dinner tonight. Wondering how it’s possible you’re already tired again and it’s only 10am, then out of absolutely nowhere “I love you, Mommy.” No setup. No reason. No follow-up questions about snacks or screen time. Just pure, unprompted love dropped into the middle of your Tuesday like emotional confetti. Honestly? Better than flowers. Better than chocolate. Better than whatever fancy Valentine’s gift the commercials say you need. These spontaneous declarations are like little love bombs, unexpected, perfectly timed (even when they’re not), and powerful enough to make your entire day worth it, even if that day also included a public tantrum. 

2)The Hand-Holding Request (Even to Walk 12 Feet) 

“Mommy, hold my hand.” You’re not crossing a street. You’re not navigating a crowded store or a busy parking lot. You’re literally walking from the couch to the kitchen, a journey that could generously be described as “extremely short.” But your toddler still wants that connection. Your hand is their emotional support object, their security blanket, their personal tie to everything good and safe. Sometimes they’ll grab your hand, look up at you with those impossibly big eyes, and just walk beside you like you’re embarking on the world’s most important adventure together. Because in their world? You are. And that twelve-foot journey is so much better when you’re holding hands. 

3)The Lap Sit (When Sitting Next to You Is Apparently Illegal) 

There’s an entire couch available. Multiple chairs. Plenty of floor space. A perfectly good bean bag chair you bought specifically for their sitting pleasure. But your toddler climbs directly into your lap, shifts seventeen times to find the “right” position, and settles in like this is the only acceptable seating arrangement in the universe. Congratulations. You are the chosen seat. The preferred furniture. The ultimate destination. And sure, your legs might be going numb and you can’t reach your coffee anymore, but your heart? Your heart is absolutely, completely melting. Because being your toddler’s favorite place to sit means you’re their favorite place to be. And that’s everything. 

4) No, I Want YOU (The Ultimate Compliment) 

Anyone could read the bedtime story. Anyone could help with pajamas. Anyone could pour the milk, find their favorite stuffed animal or answer the same question for the fourteenth time today. But no, “I want YOU to do it.” This is toddler code for, you are my safe place, my favorite person, my number one human, and also the only acceptable option right now, thank you very much, no substitutions accepted. Yes, it can feel exhausting when you’re the only one who can perform basic tasks. But it’s a profound compliment. You’ve become their trusted person, their go-to, their most important human in the whole wide world. That’s not just need, that’s love in its purest, most specific form 

Toddler hugging parent tightly while playing outside

5) Being Cast in Pretend Play 

“Mommy, you’re the puppy.” “Daddy, you’re the dragon who’s also a doctor.” “No, sit here. You’re the baby now. I’m the mommy. You have to cry. Louder!” Is it flattering? Questionable. Is it love? Absolutely. Being invited into pretend play means you’re trusted, enjoyed, and worthy of a starring role even if that role requires barking on command, eating invisible pizza with great enthusiasm, or pretending to be asleep while your toddler “takes care” of you. Your toddler is sharing their inner world with you. They’re creating stories, assigning you important (if somewhat confusing) roles, and inviting you into their imagination. That’s intimacy. That’s connection. That’s them saying, “I want you in my world. You make everything more fun.” 

6) They Make Room for You 

“Sit here.” “Help me.” “Come under the blanket with me.” “You can have some of my snack.” (This one is HUGE.) Your toddler is creating space for you, physically and emotionally. These moments are quiet, sweet, and so easy to miss in the rush of daily life, but they’re powerful signs of connection and love. They want you close. They want you included. They want you in their blanket fort, at their tea party, sitting on the floor next to their block tower, sharing their crackers. You’re not just tolerated in their space, you’re wanted. You’re invited. You belong there. And isn’t that what love is all about? Making room for the people who matter most? 

7) The Gentle Touches

Yes, toddlers are known for enthusiastic affection that occasionally results in minor injuries. The running hugs that knock you over. The “kisses” that are more like headbutts. The “gentle” pats that could technically qualify as assault. But then there are the soft moments that catch you completely off guard. Tiny fingers gently touching your hair while you read together. A soft pat on your arm while they’re falling asleep. Little hands holding your face while they stare at you. A sleepy head resting on your shoulder, complete with that perfect toddler weight that somehow feels like home. Those tender touches? That’s love in its most vulnerable, trusting form. That’s your toddler saying, “You’re safe. You’re mine. You’re my whole world.”

8) The Sprint-Hug Reunion

You walk through the door and suddenly hear it “MOMMY!!!” or “DADDY!!!” They run. They squeal. They move at speeds that seem physically impossible for their tiny legs. They collide with you at full speed like you’re the finish line of the best race ever run. It doesn’t matter if you were gone all day or just ran to Target for twenty minutes. It doesn’t matter if you literally just took the trash out. You’re back and that’s worth celebrating like a major holiday, their birthday, and ice cream all rolled into one glorious moment. The pure, unfiltered joy on their face when they see you? That’s the good stuff. That’s the exact expression that will flash through your mind someday when they’re teenagers who barely say hello from behind their phone. Right now, you are their favorite person returning from a grand adventure. You are everything. And they want you to know it loudly, enthusiastically, and possibly while knocking you slightly off balance. 

9) The “Tell Me About You” Questions

“What’s your favorite color?” “Do you like dinosaurs?” “What’s your favorite food, Mommy?” Your toddler is starting to see you as a whole person not just the snack provider, the rule enforcer, or the magical human who knows where everything is at all times. They’re genuinely curious about YOU. They want to know what you think, what you like, what makes you smile. Which is honestly very sweet and thoughtful, considering how often they interrupt you mid-sentence to tell you about a bug they saw three days ago or to ask why the sky is blue for the eighteenth time. These questions are them building a real relationship with you. They’re learning who you are beyond “Mommy” or “Daddy.” And they actually care about the answers. That’s empathy developing. That’s emotional intelligence blooming. That’s love becoming curiosity and connection.

10) They Remember What You Love

“Mommy likes coffee.” “Daddy loves red cars.” “Grandma likes flowers!” And then they bring you pretend coffee. They point out every single red car you pass with genuine excitement on your behalf. They pick you dandelions. They’re paying attention. They’re noticing what lights you up. And they want to give you those things, share those moments, make you happy, because making you happy makes them happy. That’s thoughtfulness. That’s empathy. That’s love becoming action, even in the smallest, sweetest ways. Your toddler might not remember to put their shoes away or to use their inside voice, but they remember that you love coffee. They remember what makes you smile. And they want to be part of that joy. 

Here’s what all of these moments have in common. Your toddler feels completely, wonderfully, beautifully safe with you. Toddler love is loud, messy, impulsive, and sometimes wrapped in a meltdown about the “wrong” shoes, but it’s honest and full-bodied and completely without pretense or games. When kids feel secure, they love freely, openly, and without holding back even a tiny bit. They don’t love you despite the chaos of toddlerhood. The chaos is part of how they love with their whole selves, with every big feeling, with total abandon and zero filter. So this Valentine’s Day, if your toddler insists you sit in exactly the right spot, runs toward you like you’re their entire universe, whispers “I love you” right after screaming about the wrong cup, pause for just a second and really take it in. The tantrums will fade. The crumbs will get vacuumed (eventually). The sticky handprints will wash off. But this kind of love, this wild, wonderful, unfiltered toddler love stays with you forever. It changes you. It shapes you. It fills your heart in ways you never knew were possible. This is the good stuff.❤ 

These are the moments you’ll remember when they’re older, more reserved, less likely to sprint across a room just because you walked in. These are the memories that will make you smile on hard days and maybe tear up a little on quiet nights. So soak it up. Sit on the floor even when you don’t feel like it. Be the puppy in the pretend game. Hold the hand for the twelve-foot journey. Accept the sticky kisses and the enthusiastic headbutts and the dandelions presented with such serious pride.

Because being loved by a toddler, really, truly, completely loved by a toddler is one of life’s greatest privileges. Even when it comes with crumbs. Especially when it comes with crumbs. Parenting toddlers is beautiful and hard and hilarious and exhausting, often all at the same time. I offer real-time parent coaching that meets families exactly where they are, helping you navigate the big feelings (theirs and yours) so you can create more of these connection moments. Because you deserve to feel calm and confident, even on the days when everything feels like chaos. Want support through the tough moments so you can enjoy more of the sweet ones?

Visit BehaviorGuru1.com to learn more about how we can work together ❤  

-Cinda Chatfield

The Behavior Guru